Soothingly swish, simple salted caramel ice cream

There is a now sanctuary from the Woolworth’s-who done it, from the proffering of oligarch-grade-bauble-age. Kitchen, under stairs, hides a stellar of Scandinavian /origami stars loosely arranged to divert a prison breakout of lameta, choked and burnt out stick vacuums, respectively renamed ‘the cupboard under that scares’.

A crisp winters day, a little midwinter magic. A winters tale… nope a dreary business trip to ‘the great metrollops’ (London) My meetings with grumpy Judges, found me then collecting the tea boy from a ‘business lunch’, (think, whisperings in leather chaired opulence, in a lavishly proportioned building) whence, to his utter dismay, a colleague ordered a salted-caramel-ice cream sundae of, and I quote, “of freakish proportion”.

Cooo..This gorgeous sounding /hip fodder echoed around my brain cell for 3 hours as I drove home (to the backing track of Claret zzz’s).

Ummm, theres something mercilessly unctuous about salted caramel. Further more there’s something soothingly swish about salted caramel, from its subtle sheen (a lush satin cocktail frock) with the depth of flavour (a dramatic scrunchy taffeta ball gown) a purity of (sultry velvet) emollience as all three work in stupendous collaboration.

BUTT: allegedly its imperative to drop weight and present as a ‘new you’ for the new year. Well noted, as it’s going to have to be a new you coz there’s no chance whatsoever of a new me. I’m only just getting used to this one which, quite frankly, has taken decades?! Eat well, be well with a side order of kind and happy please? Yup that’ll do me.

A couple of cans of ’emergency custard’ that were bought in for festive season (just-in-case department) were introduced to the, swiftly whipped, double cream that was lurching towards its use by date. One of my easiest, stabilised, ice cream go too’s ever. Roughly 2/3 custard to whipped cream in this instance.

Then, just to add to the complex recipe…an pre-made jar of luxe salted caramel sauce just happened to find itself incorporated too. Well I never, hidden but not forgotten ha ha come this way my beauty, she thinks in a theatrical voice whilst typing. Set in a flat tray, over night. Done.

Salted caramel

1 cup heavy cream
1 cup caster sugar
100 g cold butter, cubed
1/2 tsp sea salt

Melt the sugar in a saucepan to make a dry caramel, no stirring you know the rules. At that wondrous golden brown moment gently add the butter, now you do the stirring thing, and then the cream, (really do the stirring thing). Note this exquisite magma will be happy to cook you too, so take it steady. (just saying). Reduce to the colour and thickness you require. Add the sea salt, how much depends entirely on your palette, smoked sea salt for the truly adventurous, limits further options for use but…

Allow it cool a tad before you taste test (pour a little drizzle onto a plate or similar/chefs perks) roughly a teaspoon of salt crystals works but it’s your masterpiece after all.

Once cooled transfer it to your preferred storage vessel. It becomes the perfect vehicle for rum, cognac etc a sprinkle of amaretto used on the sponge shown above then dressed with almonds hither and tither.

Good grief I just wrote a recipe! Apologies.

January-ists note this is not everyday (though it should be I must admit) however tempting it may be, it will store for a good few weeks at the back of the fridge.

Dress simple open tarts, or small glasses as ice cream trifles.

Writers hint of the day: Hide it behind other stuff, as I had previously done, with the afore-mentioned jar made in December, so as it doesn’t hit you with its comely, prepossessing, utterly beguiling, seduction every time you open the fridge door!

Toot toot x