The festivities were upon us as dreams and imagined gifting a guerrilla fantasia to the ones we love was slightly sullied by an icky cold/flu thing. The vision of bourgeois bliss, invariably an implausible fantasy, draped in riches of luxury and mirth found the frazzled hostess reclining languidly, with hot honey and lemon warming her rump by the Aga.
T’was the post before Christmas when all over the house
The sound of crashing baubles, the floor they did douse
No stockings were hung, on the Aga to share
The hope that St Nichols one would never scare
We old guys were nestling all snug in our beds
Whilst visions of clearing it up danced in our heads!
Oh yes indeedy, the 17’ fresh and lush Christmas tree, in the kitchen, managed to face plant its self (disrespectfully) onto the floor, destroying a 30-40 year collection of proppa cut crystal ‘balls!’, hand blow glass balls, big balls, little balls, big, old, beautiful balls and 130+ crystal droplets masquerading as, you guessed, as balls (as opposed to baubles and so forth)! This was the day when I should have been making the post for inclusion here. just to add insult to injury!
I mention only to garner as much gin and sympathy as at all possible. Furthermore, to declare my intention to bleed this ‘misadventure’ absolutely dry all until 12th night.
My ‘happy to help elf’ known as Tea Boy to your good selves. The physics / inertia: quotes from memory from the Oxford English Dictionary! yawn…
A property of matter by which it continues in its existing state of rest or uniform motion in a straight line, unless that state is changed by an external force.…. however in this instance…. I created a form of quick sand by being a tad over zealous with the watering can and created a blather of quick sand, hence snaffled the law of physics and inertia. Got it? No? Either me neither, but down it went. Gifting balls up and then balls down!
Bravo, however to the aforementioned plumptous, paunchy, paternal, know all, snowy haired, tea boy.
Frankly it would have been better to have stood said tree into a tub of ice cream, a very large tub of ice cream admittedly but nonetheless just as stable.
Hence I share with you a decadent consideration which befalls the ‘ easy and no ice cream maker’ category. For all its sugary sins this is a confection which finds sophistication en route the dining table via the freezer. Little endeavour, just loads of glory. Now that’s something to celebrate in its own rite eh?
A reader asked if I had any suggestions for Thanksgiving? After a gulp of tardy embarrassment, one considers it pretty bad form to not have included same before now, the need to address celebratory options is suspiciously unaddressed. We are in need of a seasonal heavyweight!
Scarify the cupboards and launch marshmallows, meringues, caramel etc into all your old bits of ice cream and squidge into Silicon cake pans before returning them to the freezer to set. The mush and dash process.
The store-bought flan cases that were lurking in the back of the cupboard are filled with the discs of ‘old gloup’ of, now reset, layered miscreants of taste adventure. Wonderful for using up all the odd bits/unfinished tubs of ice cream. Silicon cake pans to the rescue!
Whizz up the egg whites with far too much sugar to make sufficient meringue and encase the monstrous looking object virtue. Dab the top for that well-known retro faux snow effect. Blow torch, of oven blast, before you serve said baked alaska awesomeness
Dandruff with a cascade of twinkling icing sugar. A couple of star sparklers, some bottles of champagne candles, (pre used of course) and further more, a flame thrower or culinary equivalent sets the tone.
Embarrassing as it is to ‘fess up’ I hadn’t truly appreciated the vastness of visitors here from across the pond, in fact all over the world so this is a humble gesture of thanks to you for the pleasure of your company.
Whilst I may have missed the Thanks Giving and Christmas boats this year I just had to wish each and every one of you, the very best of love and luck for 2018 and thank you unreservedly for your kind consideration.
Toot toot x