Bloke walks into a pub, I know, I know youve heard it before ….. yet all this one greeted two pumpkins like old friends? He looked to the world and his Auntie as if he were having an hysterically funny conversation with a pumpkin!  The one on the left, in truth.

  

 

The list for this evening?

Black Martini, with espresso, Vodka and Lillet Vermouth is lushier than lush.

French coffee with orange dyed cream and frost the edge of the glasses with black sugar which I just happened to have picked up in Fortnums knowing it would be useful one day inter alia (albeit 4-5 years ago) It remained unopened so we are good to go. Maybe get the edible glitter going too?

“Oh I’m just wild about Harry

And Harry’s wild about meeee”.  (hic)

So damn difficult to do the Charleston and type don’t you find?

Dear little Harry Potter brought to recent fame a luxe from my distant childhood. With the warmest thought of my Grandma and a gentle nod to the excruciating blackmailers and cursed mass marketing media moguls we have the season that is All Hellos (the:- Gimmies gimmies or ‘or else-ie else-ies).

This years spook season abounds.

  

I’ll gripe and grump yet still eventually be sucked into the black hole that is the so highly commercialized, utterly unnecessary, pretendy, scary tosh.

It is beyond me why any one would celebrate the vision of how I look every morning?

There was an incident 20+ years ago when I opened the door to a delivery-man around lunch time. I had worked through the night and had no sleep. So having taken Junior to school I had time to wallow in the bath with a face pack. Frugally using the contents of the cabinet in the bathroom. I used the remains of two opened tubes of goup. One an effervescent day-glow bright green for the right hand side, the other a more sober jaundiced henna brown for the left. I forgot completely about them, they had cracked during lengthy telephone conversations and I simply opened the door to the delivery guy. His face was a picture as he physically jumped at being so taken-aback! Though ‘on reflection’ I probably won that round when I eventually looked in a mirror?

I digress…

  

Butter Beer base

I can sweetened condensed milk

Half the can in salted caramel sauce

¼ of the volume of the can in butter by volume

2 tablespoons of light brown sugar and or 1 tablespoon of treacle, molasses or malt if you have and like.

A decent pinch of sea salt

Cola or cream soda to be added for the sloshy bit.

Combine all the ingredients in a pan and melt gently over a low heat and swirl to intermingle, liquesce and combine.

This is the base for the butter beer. Simply add some to a glass and top with cream soda or cola (the sloshy bit) to make the version suitable for children and designated drivers. Alternatively add a very decadent shot of Dark Rum to the above and a, you wont want to leave and b, wont care any way as you try to whistle the theme from Ghost Busters, which is impossible during guffaws of laughter, and this will become your new favorite pastime.

  

The Semi A’fredo?

Badly line a loaf tin with plastic wrap so as when you remove the semi fredo it will have riven edges and crinkles in it. This should resemble the creases and folds formed in shapely, saddle bag, cellulite thighs, which form naturally over night from the folds in bed linen impressed into lardy areas. This in itself will frighten the bejabers out of most women. So it’s seriously scary stuff!

Rasp fresh nutmeg onto the base. Fold half the sauce through some semi set vanilla ice cream combined with, roughly, equal parts of  ‘whipped’ cream and pour the remaining sauce in to the base of the cellulite styled loaf tin. No cook Vanilla works wonderfully for this recipe as does store-bought.

Cover and freeze until required.

This could be dressed with Chocolate cake crumbs to look like soil and RIP head stone and a toy arm reaching out, facile eh? Suggest dismember an arm from your Christmas Tree Angel (silently gloating that she may be the deaf cellulite angel in disguise)?  By the time the arm as been through the dishwasher no one will know and a well placed wing will cover the hot glue weld of our heroic and angelic amputee.

  

This recipe may indeed frighten the life out of your arteries but it will thrill your inner soul.

Since, only the good die young I’m guessing we are ok for a while yet huh?

 

  

Junior rang yesterday ‘Can we do a Halloween supper with you tomorrow’ ever the compliant parent!  Oh Yes, of course dear, (gulp). We usually go out to avoid! The table is set with swathes of black velvet as a cloth, mulberry napery, fresh mini pumpkins, endless candles, sweets treats and very silly eats, if its orange or purple it’s in the dining room.  I’ve phaphed all day and frankly I’ve loved it! At last the 3 x 3 arm, very old uncleaned silver candelabra get an airing but this time with vivid orange candles.  I can’t post pix as yet but if Im able to take some I will add in the nearest of time.

So that was the trick and the treat will be a fab evening as we are now ready to rock phew! x