Surrounded by yodeling builders who, like thermal clad caterpillars, have butterflied into a bevy of bronzed, body-beautiful builders (small compensation). It’s been a tad longer than a few months from their  ‘Oh we’ll be out of here just after the winter’. March v August?  Now ten months in to the rebuild of half the house they have all taken ‘factory fortnight’ as their jolly holidays before returning here to ‘snag fest’.

 

  

 

Its time to ‘fess up’  withdrawal from not even attempting a post here . Though latterly up to ones veritable neck having run out of elephants breath for the library! Steeping sultanas in a drop of cognac and splash of Amaretto seemingly headed me forward toward a post back-a long. That said, once steeped (code for forgotten) except by the same painter and decorator needing more elephants breath. The elephant must have bronchitis or suffer from asthma?

 

  

 

The swollen fruits were drained and although loosely covered, shards of old terracotta flooring became apparent in the slosh, quietly mortified at having to sling it, but it was 8.20 a.m. so a tad early for the obvious method of disposal? The jack hammer drivers continued whacking their way through the old kitchen floor tiles which led my thoughts to the contrary i.e. elephants drunk!

That was then and this is now.

 

Later the Tea Boy returned from the quiet undulating folds of the mowing the lawns. Note: one handedly with his trusty glass of Sauvignon in the other. Skill eh?   He mentioned the raspberries engulfing the summer-house.  Ummm raspberries, freeze them to use another day?  Dull.

Whilst I had kept my equally trusty ice cream machine nearby it remained protected, but wrapped and unused, not good.

 

  

 

No big dishes, baskets or bowls to be accessed, an internet skirmish transpires. Daft bat here thinking it would be easy enough to buy some compact and bijou ice lolly/popsicle moulds. 20 minutes later.  Scream. Sigh. Huff.  Should it be so intimidating to acquire, purchase, source some sort of lolly shaping receptacle suitable for a freezer that you can shove a wooden stick up its ….. down its….. in its.  You know the sort, an unadulterated, unimpaired wooden impaling apparatus , more commonly known in these ‘ere parts as a stick! A lolly stick, see pic below if you remain sceptical!

 

  

 

Silicon this, para-something that. I didn’t particularly fancy something that looked like a children’s nursery toy but eventually chose, mostly for boredom and desperation, round ended object du vertu within which I could freeze stuff and wouldn’t be tried for attempted murder.  The metal ones can be lethally sharp. What! Lethal Lollies?  Suitably held to ransom, it seems the white option is treble the price and a mere 14 days delivery but only if I hurry and purchase within the next 2 hours and 11 minutes. With my eyebrow now welded to my hairline, I take a sharp intake of breath!

 

Nope, ok, enough, enough, enough.  I’ll fall on my sword and take the denture pink version. I live for nothing else. C’est la vie. Yada nada.  Next day delivery? Oh for pity sake! Elephants scream. Elephants sigh. Elephants huff with very loud trumpeting!

 

  

 

Then as if by magic,  the very next day arrives said denture pink receptacle which to my horror wouldn’t look a miss in a family planning clinic.  I toddled in and showed the tea boy. Never before seen him with such a furrowed brow. He poked the it with the blunt end of a pen and a look of much disdain and had the audacity to question my mental health at the time of purchase. (just between us, I have to agree)

 

So now for the filling (and sticking) there of! I’m certainly not going to commit to using champers but a whizz and fizz thing does appeal and with that one turns on a heel and seeks inspiration from the posh new wine fridge.  Ginger ale to the rescue, one can be considered quite partial to things ginger and raspberry. Dairy free, gluten-free. Just 2 ingredients, a couple of bubbly mixer drinks and the jolly old garden fruits.

 

  

  

 

Method poke, shiggle and shake the raspberries and a few other lurking fruits into the ‘thing’ and top up with ginger ale.  I imagine this not to be too over-thinking, strenuous or time-consuming.  Deplore the fact this thing has to be touched for transportation purposes to the freezer. Kitchen cloths in hand, applies the now loaded, ‘fruity’ ‘wobbly’ thing to a small tray, then swiftly apply to freezer. Shuts the door swiftly just incase any one has seen it.  Abandon lollies to set, stiffen and firm over night. (Stop it now!)

 

  

 

 

Curiously I’m singing quietly to myself.

“All I want is a womb somewhere,

far away from the cold night air (freezer).

With one enormous scare

Oh wouldn’t it be ‘rubbery” ?

Then I’m back in the room from My Fair Lady land, questioning as to whether or not to share my ditty.

Regrettably it fell on deaf ears with the Tea Boy as I proffered a lolly in his direction. His exemplary powers of observation kicked in.  “Well I say, this is refreshing. Did this come out of that pink thing from the other day”?

Chomp chomp. “Umm very good, very good” whilst sporting yet another of his finest quizzical furrows.

 

  

 

“It did indeed”.

“Oh ghastly looking thing” said the observant one.

“Well I do agree, though sadly m’dear, … you can’t have one without the udder !”

 

Toot toot

 

x

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