As I open the door of the freezer, it resembles the north face of the Eiger, and needs addressing.  So I wish it “Good morning” and slam the door closed for fear of an avalanche. Further more, if the door is left open it screams like a ‘caught naked’ banshee. The question now is how to outwit it and what to wear for such an auspicious occasion ? Twin set and pearls, long gloves? Oh yes, that should do nicely.

 

  

 

A short while later one is sporting a twin set (two aprons). Pearls (benign of wit and none of wisdom) and the long gloves, both pairs thermal. The outside pair admittedly bedecked with faux bangles, rings and red nails… Oh, don’t start they were a gift!

“Oh I just had to buy them for you,  they are so you!”

“Really?” Thinking .. “and I thought you cared?”

 

  

  

 

Floor covered in a thick layer of beach towels (cracked floor tile from ones last endeavour). A sturdy yet comfy chair, pain killers and a pot of Earl Grey, tripled bin bags (3 bags layered inside one another particularly after the last time broken tile yada yada). On the subject of disposable refuse bags should they now be graded in ‘finity’ like denier, ‘super strength’ err maybe not?   Gaffer tape to mute the screamer switch and people who complain about same, a silver ice pick, (every girl should have one), and a Chanel bucket… (and you mean you don’t?) Ok so it’s the buckets name, admittedly written in thick black felt pen, but it is a red heart-shaped bucket and written in a chichi font. Most men avoid it like the plague, so whose laughing now?

 

  

  

 

 

It’s warm and sunny outside but there’s a chill in the air by end the end of the day, dare I say the calm before the fall, for our American chums who love a little home-styled-spoonerism from thyme to thyme?

It seemed appropriate to add to the millions of other pumpkin ice cream ideas but as Autumn desserts go this one is a tad alternative. As if?

 

  

 

I can’t find tinned pumpkin i.e. today in the UK for me! Was offered a 60 kilo one if I could use it?  Settled for a small selection including some that have a variety of table-dressing possibilities about them.

 

  

 

Fresh pulp can be easily microwaved needing about 7 minutes to the pound/half kilo. Gifting a lovely syrup so I add spices at this time and also some brown sugar, to taste though not essential. Maple or agave would add a sweet earthy tone as would Masala wine.

 

  

 

Zap in a microwave with your chosen spices, I’m currently in ‘ cinnamon avoidance mode’ otherwise every thing seemingly tastes the same for the next four months. So have used all spice and ground ginger in this instance. A microwave appropriate jug, with an equally appropriate microwave friendly plate on top.  Once nuked, taste, adding more rich, soft, dark sugar which will lovingly melt into the liquid from the blasted pumpkin.

 

  

 

No, no, not the blasted pumpkin the then blasted pumpkin once microwaved!  It makes a devoutly swift and delicious syrup. Taste, adjust to your preference and then leave to cool, before whizzing it a processor or working out your “bingo wings”. I then added a knob of butter and somewhere between  2-3-4  tables spoons of thick double cream. (let’s just say a jolly decent slosh for the sake of argument)

Make your favorite vanilla ice cream, or gelato base or use or some slightly softened store-bought. This is a wonderful upgrade for that half used/empty tub of vanilla or honeycomb ice cream.  Returning us to the better mind-set of a tub now full. It won’t look hugely elegant but it certainly upgrades and ‘Autunm-ises’ the average or lack lustre. A 50-50 mix works as shown.

 

  

  

 

Should you be diabetic, gluten-free, lacteally inconsistent, dyspraxic, voluptuous/ veggie/vegan, an avid collector of garage door handles, are happy to sit in a damp field for hours hoping to out wit a fish that you never intend to eat, or are maybe just plain picky… I respectfully suggest that you use the frozen iced cream base, coconut, gelato, of choice, preference or necessity? Omit any thing you don’t like or shouldn’t eat. Though you may wish to consider dressing your glasses with some, or all of the following, all subject to personal preclusion.

 

  

  

 

Freeze in the, absolutely had to buy it three years ago and never used, ice cream maker according to the manufacturer’s directions or alternatively slosh it all into a suitable lidded container or a spooky mould for Halloween. Stash in the freezer (mine now capacious if not cavernous) freezer for a minimum of 6 hours.

 

 

 

Shown here the newly upgraded ice cream is served in shot glasses. Dress your ice cream shots with dark liquid caramel, add some dried mixed seeds, including pumpkin. Place the shot glass on an edible  coaster made from a ginger snap, cookie/biscuit for all and sundry to wander around with at a Halloween do, a bonfire night, fire works or thanks giving party or simply…

Serve at Will as he will likely be as thrilled to enjoy it as the rest of us.

 

Toot toot

 

x

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