An idiot was remonstrating with the freezer door which had not be correctly closed and behind had built its ‘dear self-defrosting beeping self’ into the north-face of the vanilla Eiger!

Whilst half a tub of vanilla pumice was beyond redemption the remaining half tub found (soon to be topical) that there was no room at the Inn, no matter how much she got her shoulder into it and verily slamming ye freezer door upon it.

Fortunately clearing the ice cream rock-candy proved less of a task than initially thought. The remaining ice cream removed from its now wrecked and shattered tub was spirited to a mixing bowl and bin respectively so as the farcically abashed could not be caught at her rather daft doings.

Yea-forsooth the moelleux-vanille sought solace and a new form so as not to avail the buffoon of further disquiet.

Thusly: What the Dickens do I do with this … ice cream cakes.

 

  

 

Dickens is a euphemism for “devil” and originates from William Shakespeare’s “Merry Wives of Windsor”,(Act III, Scene II). I know I know, ice-cream, cake and culture in the same dish!

 

  

 

So verily one whizz-eth 2 egg whites with a pinch of salt and lastly 10 grams of sugar to a soft peak.

Gently fold to combine with 2-3 cups of molten, and by now, completely defrosted vanilla ice cream or wallop the egg white into a processor once they have a little ‘attitude’ pour in the defrosted ice cream to combine and either fold in the flour by hand or follow my lead and sling that in for good measure and less washing up?

 

  

  

  

 

Add the zest of an orange and half a cup of golden sultanas which were not, per chance, pre-soaked in Amaretto liqueur. Thusly they were zapped for 1 ‘minuet’ in the microwave (not necessary but consummately worthwhile) and lastly folded in were 2 cups of sifted self-raising flour. One drank some of the remaining Amaretto and sloshed the rest in for goodly measure. Lob the mix into some muffin tins/ cases, and bake in a medium oven for 20-30 minutes or so, test with a cocktail stick or fine quill, which needs to come out clean. The tops were sprinkled with soft brown sugar as they looked palid, pale and wanten.

Since there was turmoil in the kitchen one semi-defrosted a cup of Cornish vanilla ice cream a madeth a comparable mix with 50 g of plain flour and a heavy half teaspoon of baking powder adding I tablespoon rum, 1 teaspoon coffee essence, 40 g melted 70% chocolate, folded through mix.  So the tops cracked… ho hum.

 

  

 

The jester remains in awe at the little Panettone like muffin-ettes which are as light as the waft of the deaf cellulite angels feather and utterly yummi’eth!

Last and by-no-means least, it came to pass, that there was combined, a half cup of the Cornish Vanilla ice cream which became whipped with butter and icing sugar for a heavenly cupcake topping.

Once sprinkled with ye olde glistening sugary crystals became a delight!

Purists will note that they are incredibly scruffy but who cares, a happy hour passed, the cakes lasted for a maximum of 5 minutes and there’s now space in the freezer!

 

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